Words
by shun matsuoka
Summary: When Akashi drifted away from Kuroko, the said boy felt at lost, shocked at the sudden turn of events, and the emptiness in his heart, but what if, Akashi finally realized his mistakes? Will Kuroko give him another chance? or it would be over for them? A song inspired story :)


Shun M:

I'm currently addicted to the song _Words_ by Skylar Grey, and I'm inspired by this song to write this story, XD, anyway, you guys should listen to it it's just so beautiful *cries

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basuke, if I do, I wouldn't write something like this :3

Warning: You might hate me after you read this XD

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** * Words ***

_Always in a rush__  
__Never stay on the phone long enough__  
__Why am I so self-important?__  
__Said I'd see you soon__  
__But that was, oh, maybe a year ago__  
__Didn't know time was of the essence_

Akashi doesn't know when it happened, but, all he knows is that his relationship with Kuroko was not how it used to be, unlike in the past, the two of them was almost inseparable, but now, it was almost like they haven't known each other at all.

Akashi remembered his Teiko days with Kuroko and everyone, they would all be sharing smiles and laughter, and they would treat Kuroko as if he was the baby of their group, but Akashi, his treatment was beyond sweet, when no one was looking, he would kiss the top of Kuroko's head, or his cheeks, and sometimes a chaste kiss on his lips, and they would both giggle afterwards, well it was mostly Akashi who did the soft giggling, but, nonetheless, Kuroko has that smile plastered on his face. And when they thought that they would be able to keep their relationship hidden, was when their friends found it out.

It was Kise who found out first, he don't really mind it, but sometimes he felt jealous of Akashi for always being able to hang out with his "Kurokocchi", and Kuroko has to promise Kise that he'll play with him after school to get him to stop from whining, the next ones were Aomine and Midorima, though it was really accidental. They just happened to caught Akashi kissing Kuroko when they were about to return the set of basketballs that they had used for practicing, the two of them said that they didn't mind and it was very obvious that Akashi had a thing for the certain bluenette, his actions showed it way too much. And of course, the last one was Atsushi, who seem to not care at all, as long as he can continue munching on his treats, the world is fair.

And their relationship continued on, both men continued to hang out with their friends, stopping by a convenience store every after class to grab a popsicle, they'll share their thoughts about the day and sometimes just talk about their passion for basketball.

But that was until they changed, and Kuroko was afraid of change.

_So many questions__  
__But I'm talking to myself__  
__I know that you can't hear me anymore__  
__Not anymore__  
__So much to tell you__  
__And most of all goodbye__  
__But I know that you can't hear me any more_

Akashi was the first one, who changed, and it took the others by surprise, especially Kuroko, he clutched his chest as he felt a certain pang of pain in his heart, whenever he looks at Akashi, he couldn't see his self anymore, there was no happiness in them at all. At first, he thought that it was just because of his lover's hectic schedule, but no, as more days passed by, everything seemed to get worse. And one by one, Kuroko's friends seemed to drift away from him, and he, feeling vulnerable, decided to shut himself out from the others.

And one time, during their practice match, Kuroko ran side by side with his best friend, Daiki. At the heat of the game, Kuroko forgot all about the events that happened the past few days, and he even if it's just a little, he hoped that he'd be able to mend broken relationships that was broken due to an unknown reason, and when Daiki scored another point, Kuroko smiled lightly as he jogged to his friend, offering a bro fist at Daiki, but the older one just stared at it and left the younger, and Kuroko has his mouth slightly opened, wanting to say something, anything, but he can't, he looked at Akashi who was standing not that far from him, he noticed that Akashi was walking towards him, and his heart beat faster, when the redhead was near him, he closed his eyes and looked down, waiting for that warm feeling on his head, and that smiling face Akashi has whenever he says "well done", but nothing happened, the air suddenly got chilly when Akashi passed by him, not sparing him another glance at all.

Kuroko wanted to cry, but he tried to make believe that everything would be fine, but the more he denies it, the greater the pain he feels, he hates the feeling of being alone, but he doesn't want to let it out either, afraid that he'll make things even worse.

He doesn't want to be alone.

_It's so loud inside my head__  
__With words that I should have said__  
__And as I drown in my regrets__  
__I can't take back the words I never said__  
__I never said__  
__I can't take back the words I never said_

Akashi had seen it all, but he didn't do anything, it was more like, he doesn't know what to do, being the new captain of Teiko, a lot more expectations was placed before him, and he made up his mind that until he achieved his goal, he'd close his heart from any emotion that would soften his barricade, and unfortunately, Kuroko was no exception.

When they've graduated from Teiko, he saw that every one of his friends has also changed, they're no longer the warm, happy bunch of friends that he once had, and Kuroko, his face was masked, and whatever was underneath, Akashi didn't know. He wanted to approach him, talk to him, hold him, kiss him, and tell him he loves him, but he did not. His pride is getting in the way, and he's sure that when he does just one of those, he'll break down. And he's not prepared for it.

He's scared of so many possibilities that may break him.

_Always talking shit__  
__Took your advice and did the opposite__  
__Just being young and stupid__  
__I haven't been all that you could've hoped for__  
__But if you'd held on a little longer__  
__You'd have had more reasons to be proud_

Akashi was on the rooftop, a can of soda in his hand, and his phone on the other, he flipped open his phone and smiled bitterly as he saw Kuroko's face as his phone's wallpaper, his thumb brushed the screen ever so lightly and felt tears roll down his cheeks. Ever since they parted ways, there was nothing he wanted more than to call Kuroko, tell him he's sorry, beg him to come back to him, love him even more and be happy.

When Akashi was left alone, only then he realized how hard it is to feel vulnerable, his friends no longer care about him, and his lover, who remained faithful to him, wishing that he'd one day, come back to him, had finally gave up, and Akashi wanted to go back to the times where they were all together and happy, oh how he wanted to see Kuroko.

Oh how he wanted to tell him he's sorry for being a jerk, oh how he wanted to see those smiles that Kuroko shows him whenever he showers him with affection, how it hurts to know that everything he wanted would never be within his grasp.

_So many questions__  
__But I'm talking to myself__  
__I know that you can't hear me anymore__  
__Not anymore__  
__So much to tell you__  
__And most of all goodbye__  
__But I know that you can't hear me any more_

Kuroko was sitting in front of his friend, Kagami Taiga, who Kuroko thought was his new light, Kuroko was staring at his phone, hoping that it would light up and see that there was a message from Akashi, hoping that one day he'll receive a message saying that there's still a chance for them to be back together, but of course, who would he be kidding? It has been 3 years now, it's as if time was saying that he should just give up, move on and pretend to be happy.

He sighed, opened his inbox and looked for his saved messages, he smiled a little when he reread Akashi's message for him in the past. _Tetsuya, how are you? I miss you, I wish you're here with me, doing this stupid school stuff during a weekend is boring, I prefer seeing you than looking at this crappy club forms._ He clearly remembered that day, when Akashi was fed up, left the paper works and went straight to Kuroko's house, Kuroko remembers the way he was hugged tightly by Akashi, how his lips feel against his, how warm his body was when he hovered over him, how sweet he was when he was making love to him. _I love you_ Kuroko's eyes widen as those words had suddenly left his mouth, surprising Kagami.

The taller man nearly choked on his food when he saw Kuroko's eyes tearing up, it was a rare to see the guy like this, and he leaned forward and wiped away Kuroko's tears. "Why are you crying? Please stop crying." He whispered, Kuroko closed his eyes and felt more tears rolled down his cheeks. This is it, he needs to flip open another chapter of his life, move on and meet new people who would maybe, make him happy like _they_ did.

He sniffed and looked at Kagami, forcing his self to smile, he whispered. "I love you, Kagami-kun."

_It's so loud inside my head__  
__With words that I should have said__  
__And as I drown in my regrets__  
__I can't take back the words_

It was a sunny afternoon, Kuroko was strolling with Kagami, his hand was tightly enveloped by Kagami's larger ones, and that was when he saw Akashi, the said man was staring at him, with mouth half opened, eyes shocked when he saw Kuroko being loved by someone else, Akashi felt his chest tightened at the sight, Kuroko, on the other hand, felt like he was going to cry any minute, Kagami looked to where Kuroko was looking, he squinted his eyes, his hold on Kuroko's hand tightens. "Akashi-kun…" Kuroko's voice went out tiny as he felt his body tremble.

Akashi wanted to turn his back, wanted to run, wanted to forget what happened, he blinked his eyes, breathe deeply before forcing a smile. "How have you been, Tetsuya?" he asked, Kuroko's eyes were brimming with tears, he bit his lip and shook his head, "Tetsuya, what does he has anything to do with you?" Kagami's voice echoed inside Kuroko's head.

Akashi clenched his fists, waited to what Kuroko would say, wanting to hear if he has still a place on the younger's heart, if he still hasn't forgotten all about him, but to his shock, Kuroko's eyes became dull and lips were tight before it curved into a smile, a smile that was nothing but a fake one, covering Kuroko's feelings, the smaller boy looked at Kagami. "_Nothing._ He's no one." He said, loud enough so Akashi could hear every word, it pierced his heart, realizing that Kuroko had made a decision.

"We should leave, Kagami-kun." Kuroko said, as he began to walk away from Akashi, he looked one last time to Akashi before saying. "_Farewell, Akashi"_

_The longer I stand here__  
__The louder the silence__  
__I know that you're gone but sometimes I swear that I hear__  
__Your voice when the wind blows__  
__So I talk to the shadows__  
__Hoping you might be listening 'cos I want you to know_

Akashi watched the retreating figure of Kuroko and Kagami, finally letting his tears to drip down, he covered his mouth with the back of his hand, staring at Kuroko's silhouette, imagining that what if, he was the one beside Kuroko and not Kagami, what if, he was the one holding his hand, and what if, he was the one who sees Kuroko's pleasant smiles.

Akashi turned his back, walked slowly, chuckling bitterly as he now know that after this, everything's done between him and Kuroko, that starting from now on, he has no more right to love Kuroko, he had lost, and it was because of his own stupidity, he let his own selfishness eat him, and now here he is, alone and suffering.

Kuroko could never be again his, he hurt him and this is just the right punishment for him. Kuroko would never have the spark in his eyes whenever he looks at Akashi, and it was his own damn fault.

_It's so loud inside my head__  
__With words that I should have said__  
__And as I drown in my regrets__  
__I can't take back the words I never said__  
__I never said__  
__I can't take back the words I never said__  
__Never said__  
__I can't take back the words I never said_

And here he was, sitting in the cold floor of his apartment, a beer in his hand and his phone at the other, his tears rolled non-stop as he continued looking at his and Kuroko's picture, he clearly remembers the day they took the picture, it was their first anniversary and he took out Kuroko for a date, Kuroko was all flushed that day, and there was nothing even more beautiful than him, Akashi kissed his hand and gave him a bouquet of red roses.

"I love you." Kuroko's face got even redder if that was even possible, he bit his lip to prevent himself from smiling like crazy. "I love you too." He whispered, leaning in to kiss the tip of Akashi's nose, he giggled afterwards, and Akashi just smiled in return.

Akashi closed his eyes, beginning to feel the difficulty in breathing as he cried; he hugged his knees and sobbed loudly. "_I love you, I always have…"_ he whispered, silently wishing that Kuroko was there, so he can hear it, so that Akashi can grab him, pull him in a love-filled kiss, so that he can say sorry, so that he can beg for another chance. "_I always will."_

Akashi wished that he can say "I love you" to Kuroko even for one last time.

But that time won't ever come, and that's what made Akashi hate himself even more.

O.Q

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Shun M:

WHAT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. *CRIES

I SHOULD HAVE MADE THEM ENDED UP TOGETHER! BUT I DIDN'T… CAUSE I'M MEAN *LAUGHS WICKEDLY

NO JUST KIDDING. DO YOU WANT A HAPPY ENDING ONE? TELL ME AND I'LL MAKE ONE :3


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